A couple of years ago, for Mother’s Day, I wrote about what I felt was the meaning behind Mah’s Joint—or at least how I interpreted it. While the song is clearly about Jon’s grandmother losing her memory and his mother caring for her, I believe there are so many layers and emotions woven into it that people might overlook. To this day, no song has ever moved me as profoundly as this one. Now, two years removed from my own loss and navigating life in college, Mah’s Joint resonates with me even more. It would be incredible if Jon could read what I wrote, as this song means so much to me.
Happy Mother’s Day! I thought I would do something a little different this year and write about a personal experience between my mom and me. Mah’s Joint is a song written by Jon Bellion I recommend listening to it before reading and then listening again after reading this. Throughout the song Jon paints a story of his personal experiences. The song has 3 stages, I will go through each part and explain what I believe is trying to be conveyed.
The first third of the song is straight forward, Jon describes how he is watching his mother become a mother to her mom. For months he’s been watching this transition (from daughter to mother of her mother) and he does not know what to say. He feels helpless as he can do nothing to stop the sickness. He speaks with great respect for his mother and how he sees all the things she is doing for her own mother. I believe the two lines in the chorus is meant to be a double entendre. While his mother preparing her earthly house, The Father is preparing her Heavenly place. He starts to wrestle with the purpose of making memories. Why make memories if we are just going to forget them when we are older? His resolve is that the Father (God) will restore them when we pass on. He will circle back to this point later in the song.
Transitioning into part 2 you can hear a voice in the background saying, “for the mothers with us physically”. This to me has two separate meaning, first one being we should celebrate the mothers who are here with us today. Two being the ones who are still here today should celebrate the ones who have departed from this place. This part of the song has a happier feeling with the horns and the pacing, it is all together just more upbeat. I think it is neat that instead of saying nah, nah, nah he uses mah mah mah. Nah nah nah goodbye could be something you would sing at a funeral instead Jon twists this into something happy and wonderful by using mah. It is not just Jon singing, but several other people signaling that it is a party. With lines like “we doin’ it for our mama’s mama’s mama’s” “give it up y’all for the mothers” “tell your mama you love her” This is Jon expressing how grateful he is for everything his mom has done, is doing and will do. I think this also doubles as a celebration of his grandma’s life.
While I love every part of the song, I think it is this last part that always gets me the most. A lot of it is up to interpretation, but I think it is clear what Jon is trying to paint. There is a faint voice in the transition that says “for the mothers with us spiritually” signaling this part is for the mothers who are no longer with us. When I hear this part, I tend to imagine my grandmother transitioning to the afterlife. It starts out with a very ethereal sound. Jon starts to hum here I am imagining a soul waking up slightly confused and looking around trying to comprehend what has happened. Remember this person has had dementia and their memories stripped away. Then Jon brings in violin strings which make a rising sound. To me this is the part where the spirit is starting to ascend to heaven. Following this there is a distorted base (I believe this is base) that is loud and blaring. To me this is the spirit coming to the gates of heaven and the base is the sound of them opening. Jon starts to sing no specific words, but the singing is very emotional. To me the spirit has now made its way to the Father and all its memories are starting to pour back in. Overcome with emotion and thankfulness for all the daughters did while she was sick. From here the song starts to fade out but does not real end. There is what I describe as a circular sound at the center as the other sounds fade. The sound carries on for a bout minute never truly ending. This is symbolizing that the spirit is not dead, that they are not gone. They have eternal life, and we should never stop honoring.
This song resonates with me because I saw my mother and grandmother go through the exact same circumstances. I wrestled with a lot of the same doubts Jon did, feeling hopeless and being nothing but a bystander. To see the one who raised you now in such a weakened and helpless state, barely able to even recognize you, I can only imagine how that feels internally. I watched the effect and toll it had on my mother from the outside but cannot grasp the internal struggles. For me personally, I had these lovely memories of my grandmother and now she does not even recognize me. This led me to question why we make these memories just to lose them later? While this seems like a sad song to write about on Mother’s Day, really is not to me. Whether or not you have had family members or a loved one effected by dementia at some point there may come a time to take care of our parents. Cherish your memories of them and to do not take the time we have with them now for granted. If that time ever comes where you need to take care of them, honor them. For while memories down here may be forgotten they will not be lost, one day they will be perfectly restored. I write all this on Mother’s Day because mothers are truly special, so whether your mother is here or has moved on from this life, give thanks for the memories shared and let us celebrate the ones that are here or the ones that have moved on. Have a blessed day. (FYI I have shared these thoughts with my mother already).